When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
