Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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