Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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