And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Mom said you looked used
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
