I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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