dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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