Three words: puerto rican gang bang
too bad you live with your parents still
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
