So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
