giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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