I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
