no, he came in my armpit
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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