I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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