Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
