it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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