Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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