it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
