Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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