the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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