apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
