there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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