Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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