$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
