no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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