By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
