This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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