Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
