Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Randomize
