Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
