Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
