for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
