Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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