I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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