So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That accounts for only three of the penises
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I deserve this hangover.
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