so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
