Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
