Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
