i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
