After last night, I could never be a politician.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
