My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm passing your future prison.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
