is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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