FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
