he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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