This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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