i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
