I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
