She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
