would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
