So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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