Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
