Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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