Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
farters have to be the big spoon...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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