you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
